Author: Laura Robinson

To understand the new smart watched and other pro devices of recent focus, we should look to Silicon Valley and the quantified movement of the latest generation. Apple’s Watch records exercise, tracks our moves throughout the day, assesses the amount of time we are stood up and reminds us to get up and move around if we have been sat for too long – let’s not forget Tim Cook’s “sitting is the new factor” line. Diana saves Steve Trevor who has crashed on Themyscira. He warns her of the great war, World War I, raging across the globe. Wonder Woman…

To understand the new smart watched and other pro devices of recent focus, we should look to Silicon Valley and the quantified movement of the latest generation. Apple’s Watch records exercise, tracks our moves throughout the day, assesses the amount of time we are stood up and reminds us to get up and move around if we have been sat for too long – let’s not forget Tim Cook’s “sitting is the new factor” line. Diana saves Steve Trevor who has crashed on Themyscira. He warns her of the great war, World War I, raging across the globe. Wonder Woman…

Despite the law’s insistence that a suspect is ‘innocent until proven guilty’, in soapland the opposite is true. If the police take you in for questioning, then you are guilty by association; if they lock you up, expect to be eating Christmas dinner behind bars.Soapland’s police always assume the worst. In EastEnders, it’s a given that if the Ol’ Bill have Phil on their radar, he can expect to be down the station quicker than you can say, ‘Guilty, m’lud’. It’s the same with Emmerdale’s Cain. In both cases, they’re invariably guilty by virtue of past form; but even when they’re…

When they are not having affairs, falling sick, murdering each other et al, soap characters endure considerable boredom. In EastEnders, this means never ordering more than two pub drinks, buying a kebab (on a really exciting day), or nursing a fry-up in the café.In Emmerdale, tedium ranges from endless talk of the financial pitfalls of farming, to the financial pitfalls of being a vet (I’m no Martin Lewis, but I can see the problems with both: not enough flamin’ animals!)Corrie’s tedium involves clothes folding from a never-empty washing basket (Gail), talking about sticky buns (the factory workers), and parents discussing…

Tears were shed; there was weeping and wailing in the streets – well, sort of. Yes, it was the last EastEnders on 16 June, the show having run out of episodes while in lockdown. Fear not, shooting has re-commenced, and soon all will be right again with the world, just as it now is with Emmerdale. Corrie – top marks to everyone there – never ran out.With producers scurrying to the archives, preparing to show classic episodes if the worst came to the worst (as it did with EastEnders), they’ve clearly been inspired. Corrie and Emmerdale have announced that, over the summer,…

Now that EastEnders is screening classic episodes (having run out of normal ones during lockdown), it’s interesting to reflect on scenes that instantly come to mind in the history of soap.Top of my list would be Dallas when, in response to outrage at the departure of Patrick Duffy, who played Bobby Ewing, the show ‘resurrected’ him. His partner Pam woke up to discover the whole of the previous year had been a dream. Alas, the sister show Knot’s Landing never heard, and continued to grieve for the dead brother.Among home-grown soaps, inevitably EastEnders’ Den serving Angie divorce papers on Christmas Day…

Partnerships, romantic or otherwise, have a tough time in soapland at the best of times; so, imagine being holed up with one other person and being unable to do anything about it.With some of Emmerdale’s pairs in lockdown, enduring difficulties dealing with each other’s problems and foibles, I’ve been pondering the options of various soap characters, were I to be incarcerated with them.In Corrie, I’d be happy with Carla because we’d never run out of red wine; Sally, because we’d never run out of baked beans; and Gary, because he’d beat anyone up who came to steal our limited supply…

Why does everyone in soapland rush into relationships so quickly? One minute they’re having a drink in the pub, and the next they’re moving in together. Whatever happened to courting?Despite having been cautious about Corrie’s Geoff, Yasmeen didn’t waste that much time in moving him into her home – and we all know how that one has ended. Sarah has shared so many places with so many different men, you have to wonder why she doesn’t just advertise herself as a walking timeshare. Even the normally sensible Ken moved Claudia in before realising that her aim was to get him into a…

There is tentative good cheer in soapland now that shows are in negotiations to start re-shooting, following the coronavirus hiatus, but only if they adhere to social distancing rules.This is obviously going to affect storylines dramatically. How will Emmerdale’s Priya manage to survive being in the same room as a man, six feet apart? She can’t even see a guy without pouncing on him like a hungry cat on a lame mouse. And how will any woman manage to keep her hands off Cain when he comes into view (it would take restraints as well as chloroform to keep me away…

The longer coronavirus restrictions go on, the more other-worldly soapland feels. A major difficulty is that owing to the reduced number of episodes, events are out of sync. Thus, in Coronation Street, hot cross buns were being eaten at the end of April instead of in the middle; and on Monday last week, Gail celebrated her birthday, when the actual date is 16 April.It’s strange, in hospital scenes (all three soaps featured them last week), for there to be no mention of Covid-19 or, in pubs, for nobody to be discussing what is currently an international topic of conversation.Despite the odd…