EASTENDERS: POOR JEAN HAS TURNED INTO MISS HAVISHAM
In Eastenders the penny drops that Jean (pictured) might be unwell when she steps out in a Miss Havisham-style wedding dress
Has the wardrobe department inadvertently wandered into the costume room for the BBC’s forthcoming Great Expectations? What else could possibly explain Jean’s Miss Havisham-style wedding dress?
Set off with a veil that wouldn’t look out of place on a beekeeper, the get-up allegedly cost a fortune, which makes Harvey see red. The penny finally drops that Jean might be unwell (yer don’t say) when he sees the OTT dress.
Furious when he tells her they need to slow things down, Jean moves back in with the Slaters and later heads down to Southend, where Stacey tracks her down, heading for the ocean. Hopefully this will be the moment when Jean finally realises she needs some help.
And maybe a doctor could also do something about Harvey’s eating habits. Talking with your mouth full is never a good look; he makes so much noise when he’s eating, if you closed your eyes, you would swear there was a trough nearby.
Kat’s ongoing audition for Mafia Wives gathers pace after a run-in with Ben where he tells her she’s not up to being a Mitchell (pot, kettle, black). When Sam announces she’s moving in, it’s the final straw, and Kat throws her out before announcing that she’s ’ead o’ the fairm-ly now.
There’s more than a hint of Peggy in her manner, and maybe it’s time the show reinstalled Kat as landlady of the Vic. Let’s face it, there’s precious little to do at Kat’s Cabs.
How many taxis has anyone ordered since the place opened? Let’s just say you don’t need both hands to count.
At the Vic, Linda has decided that she’s going back to serving the punters. Bang go those profits – again.
CORONATION STREET
In Coronation Street Max (pictured) plans to run away and breaks into the barber’s to retrieve the phone after David confiscates it
The transformation of Max from blonde angel to teen monster has never been convincing. Did he go to Bad Boy School, or have a lobotomy?
Either way, he’s gone from someone who wouldn’t say boo to a goose to a psycho who could take on a gaggle of geese and emerge victorious.
Daniel apologises to Daisy upon discovering that it was Max who shared images from Nicky’s sexual past, and insists he’ll let Amy know who spiked her drink. After David confiscates his phone, Max plans to run away and breaks into the barber’s to retrieve the phone.
Alas, upon emerging (pictured), he lacerates his leg on broken glass and loses consciousness. Ah, if only he’d had the nous to take David’s keys.
The endless sex talk between Sally and Tim (always way too much) takes a turn when Tim admits he’s embarrassed about his impotence but Sally assures him she’s happy with a hug. That’ll be a first.
Given their history of role-playing, don’t be surprised if ‘hug’ is a euphemism for something else. Be careful, Tim; you have only one heart.
EMMERDALE: ON STRIKE? YOU HAVEN’T DONE ANY WORK YET!
In Emmerdale Kim’s (pictured with Jai) staff are demanding fairer contracts and she is not happy to see them on the picket line outside the HOP
Kim is not happy when she sees her staff on the picket line outside the HOP. Although she’s worrying unnecessarily – it’s less of a line and more of a cluster; actually, it’s not even a cluster – a smattering of protesters, at best.
They’re demanding fairer contracts – for what, pray? There’s little evidence anyone in the village does any work at all – apart from Moira, of course, who can get very worked up about sheep.
When Kim immediately demotes Jai for his non-handling of the situation, she’s stunned by his reaction. Her fury is intensified when a wealthy friend turns up for coffee and she has to play waitress.
Heaven forbid! Kim touching a kettle? The only domestic task she’s capable of is pouring spirits from a decanter – something she could do in her sleep.
Does she even know which way up a kettle goes?
Laurel is so impressed with Jai she decides to take him back, but his excitement is short-lived when she changes her mind after hearing he was tempted by drugs again.
Oh, please; enough of the drugs storylines; they’re threatening to overtake car boot kidnappings in terms of air time. Moira contemplating the price of mutton really would be more enthralling.
